Who’s Driving Your Bus? Understanding Internal Family Systems

Who is driving your bus? Understanding Internal Family Systems

Have you ever felt surprised by your reactions, thoughts, feelings as if not in control or it was coming from somewhere deep inside that is unfamiliar, or maybe all too familiar? It would be surprising if the answer was no. This happens to most of us and I find it helpful to ask the question, “Who is/was driving your bus?” This is a phrase I use with clients and myself. It is a prompt to begin exploring the Internal Family System. In this article, I will explain the basics of Internal Family Systems (IFS) and applications with the hope of increasing the reader’s knowledge and curiosity about the system within themselves.

Internal Family Systems (IFS) is a transformative psychotherapy model that views the mind as a system of inner parts, each with its own emotions, roles, and perspectives. Developed by Dr. Richard Schwartz, IFS helps individuals access their core Self, fostering healing and balance among their internal sub-personalities.

The Core Concepts of IFS:

IFS operates on the belief that the mind is naturally multiple, and this multiplicity is not a disorder but a fundamental aspect of human psychology. The key components of IFS include:

• The Self: The confident, compassionate, and wise core of every person.
• Parts: Sub-personalities that take on different roles, often shaped by past experiences.

• Managers: Protective parts that try to maintain control and prevent harm.
• Exiles: Wounded parts that carry painful emotions, often suppressed.
• Firefighters: Reactive parts that attempt to distract from emotional pain, sometimes through impulsive behaviors.

To help explain the Self, IFS uses the 8 C’s to represent the core qualities, which is the compassionate and wise center of a person. When the Self leads, healing and balance occur. Here are the 8 C’s along with examples:

1. Calmness – A person struggling with anxiety learns to access their Self, creating a sense of inner peace rather than reacting impulsively to stress.
2. Curiosity – Instead of judging their inner critic, someone asks, “Why does this part feel the need to protect me?” This curiosity fosters understanding.
3. Clarity – A person overwhelmed by conflicting emotions gains clarity by recognizing different parts within them and their unique roles.
4. Compassion – Someone who has been harsh on themselves begins to approach their wounded parts with kindness, leading to emotional healing.
5. Confidence – A person who has doubted their abilities starts trusting their Self, making decisions with assurance rather than fear.
6. Courage – Facing painful memories, an individual bravely engages with their Exile parts, allowing healing rather than avoidance.
7. Creativity – A person stuck in repetitive thought patterns finds new ways to express emotions, such as through art or journaling.
8. Connectedness – Instead of feeling fragmented, someone integrates their parts, fostering a sense of wholeness and connection with others.

These qualities help individuals lead their internal system with wisdom and balance. Doesn’t that sound like a nice bus ride with this person behind the wheel? When these qualities aren’t present, it is time to get curious about which part might be driving your bus.

Examples of Parts:

Perfectionism
A person struggling with perfectionism discovers that their inner Manager part constantly pushes them to excel, fearing failure. If a perfectionist manager is driving, self-criticism for mistakes (think wrong turn) would make for a tense ride.

Childhood Trauma
A person with deep-seated shame and fear realizes that their Exile part carries painful childhood memories of rejection. If this part is driving, a person may experience dissociation (wondering how we got from A to B) creating a lack of safety and presence of mind.

Impulsive Behaviors
Someone struggling with impulsive drinking identifies their Firefighter part, which activates when emotional pain surfaces. Imagine road rage and with this part in the driver’s seat.

The process includes:

1. Recognizing the Parts: Becoming aware of the different voices within.
2. Building a Relationship with the Self: Strengthening the core Self to lead with the 8 C’s.
3. Healing the Exiles: Addressing past wounds and integrating suppressed emotions.
4. Restoring Balance: Helping all parts work together in harmony.

Applications and Benefits

IFS is used to treat various psychological conditions, including anxiety, depression, trauma, addictions, disordered eating and relationship challenges. It promotes self-compassion, emotional resilience, and personal growth, making it valuable beyond clinical therapy—helping individuals, couples, and even professionals in leadership roles. Licensed mental health professionals trained in IFS help our clients trust the Self, get to know, understand and appreciate their own Internal Family system.

At Renew Counseling ministries we believe in the healing power of our faith in Jesus Christ. If a client shares this faith, Internal Family Systems (IFS) is one of the methods of counseling we integrate with Christianity as a powerful way to approach emotional healing. These are some key ways we align IFS with Christian principles:

1. Viewing the Self as God-Given Leadership

IFS teaches that the Self is the compassionate, wise core of a person. In the Christian framework, this can be understood as the —our ability to reflect Christ’s love and wisdom.

2. Inviting the Holy Spirit into the Healing Process

Instead of relying solely on the Self to lead healing, we can invite the Holy Spirit to guide their internal system through prayer for discernment and allowing God’s presence to bring peace to wounded parts.

3. Understanding Parts Through Biblical Compassion

IFS teaches that all parts have positive intentions, even if they act out of dysfunction. This aligns with Romans 7 and 8, where Paul describes his internal struggle. Rather than condemning parts, Christians can approach them with grace and redemption through Christ.

5. Recognizing Jesus as the Ultimate Healer

IFS encourages self-compassion, but we can take this further by recognizing that true healing comes through Christ. By surrendering burdens to Him, individuals can experience deeper transformation.

In conclusion, Internal Family Systems offers a non-pathologizing approach to mental health, empowering individuals to embrace their inner complexity. By fostering self-leadership, IFS helps people achieve greater emotional balance and well-being by understanding, healing and harmonizing their inner parts leading to greater emotional resilience.

If you are interested to learn more, please view our Meet Our Team page Meet Our Clinicians – Renew Counseling Ministries to search for clinicians trained in IFS. You can also check out our Resources Page Resources – Renew Counseling Ministries to find recommended books and podcasts that explore IFS.

We look forward to serving you.

Peace,

Jessica Smith M.Ed LPCC-S

Chief Clinical and Communications Officer

Co-Owner